superbowl commercials

I know nothing about football. and i know even less about cars. but none the less i felt compelled, as i do every year, to watch the super bowl and this year i took notes on what the commercials were. I still like to watch tv, and when i do i like to study what is coming at me and pay attention to what is being advertised, the following is compiled from my handwritten notes on super bowl commercials

below are my actual superbowl notes, sometimes i jot these down in my sketch book. Taking notes on the commercials i watch is a habit i developed when i though i might apply to go to graduate school at the institute for the study of popular television at syracuse.

and now the list with snarky comments and observations thrown in for good measure:

GI Joe- commercial for a movie that will most definitely ruin one of my favorite childhood toys
Hyundai- a car i will never need,
Bud Light.
angels and demons-should have titled this the bernini code
audi-using jason statham’s transporter
pepsi-something i never have or will drink
doritos-yuck
bud light
year one-some sort of movie
toyota-influenced by the same art objects as modernist, actually compares grill of car to african mask
fast and furious-an ad for a 2hour ad for cars
oil- some oil company used inagadavida by iron butterfly as their music…wtf?
Land of the lost-
doritos- something about sex and money
go daddy- something about sex and a girl in a shower
diet pepsi-goes along with your motor oil, regular pepsi and doritos
pedigree-for your dog
budweiser- american beer, owned and invented by germans
budweiser- horse romance, because nothing says america like love struck horses
star trek- beam me up
gatorade- G a sexy new package for sugar water
cars.com-
hyundai- again
e-trade- those damn babies are fucking stupid
disney- really
bud light
h and r block- how are they not bankrupt?
flowers
cheetos- a product i understand
sprint
sobe-sexier sugar water
toyota-made in america designed elswhere
priceline- see star trek
overstock.com- because even in a recession you need stuff
universal orlando- like disney but without rats
ford truck- like a rock
hardees- because high cholesterol is for wussys
coca cola- more sugar water
bridgestone- tires for the hyundai and the audi you just bought
Denny’s- we can’t even give this food away
monster- you broke and unemployed and hate your life, we can help
Transformers- more toys from my childhood ruined
career builder- see monster
coca cola- used peter and the wolf for some reason
frosted flakes- cereal of my childhood
alltel-built tough and not weak like those other cars
ford-now with my circle
carmax- you really need a new car to go with your coke, cheetos, and new job
zaxby’s- overweight celebrity motorcycle designers eat here and you should too
miller high life
hyundai
coke
cash 4 gold- you are a sucker and will do anything , send me your un wanted gold. is there such a thing as unwanted gold, it is the only thing that holds its value, soon it is all we will accept as payment
vizio-because you deserve a flat screen that costs more than your first car
taco bell-drink pepsi
ge- we own everything, deal with it.
hulu- alec baldwin is both ironic and relevant, we swear
ge-we still own everything
pepsi-we own taco bell
bud light with lime- yes we can
godaddy- we do something with stuff

so the superbowl’s message, buy a car, drink pepsi, watch a movie,