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  • Pickles coleslaw and the kfc mashed potato bowls


    I really hate pickles. I have never liked them and I can give several cogent reasons why. First and foremost they are nasty. The first bites of a pickle elicit a strong gag response from me. The second reason is a little more interesting. In the mid nineties I made my way as a line cook at a local charleston barbecue restaurant. One of the myriad responsibilities of a line cook at a restaurant is to keep the food line stocked with all the necessary ingredients. On a particularly busy night the line ran out of the ubiquitous pickles used for garnish on the barbecue sandwich plate. Being the sort of valiant team player I was, I offered to go back to the walk in and open up a new barrel of pickles. When I opened the pickle barrel I wretched not only at the initial smell but at the sight of the pickled face mask floating in with the pickles. I asked my kitchen manager what to do with the pickled face mask and he said throw it away and serve the pickles. To this day I can not bring myself to eat mass produced pickles. Number two on the list of foods to never eat in a restaurant cole slaw. I can’t really describe in words the visuals of watching cooks inventively mix cole slaw. I should stop here and say that if you enjoy cole slaw from restaurants enjoy, just know that the expression up to my elbows in cole slaw is based on fact. And the last food gripe is the new kfc mashed potato bowls. I saw an ad for these bowls and it seems like they have tried as much as possible to simulate the texture and look of vomit in their product. If you haven’t seen the commercial it is hysterical if only for the sincerity of the actors who exclaim that the bowl has everything they want. The deep throated announcer comes on
    We take mashed potatoes, we top that with crispy chicken bits, corn, pour gravy over that and then top the whole thing with cheese, it’s the colonials new crispy chicken mashed potato bowl.
    Vomit! I can’t believe the colonial is selling vomit in a bowl. Oh well. I ran into a friend last night who might have a lead on a live work space and I researched a grant I can write for to maybe get some money to develop a space for site specific installations, i sure hope someone else hasn’t put designs on that warehouse. In the meantime before brooke leaves for her six week archaeology field school in new hampshire we are meeting with another catering and event planner. God I hope we get a place and date nailed down soon. I really want to get to the part of wedding planning where we sample the food and cake that will be at the wedding.