A year of less anxious production

I was once completely motivated by a sense of anxiety. A sense that if I didn’t constantly make stuff I’d lose my creative abilities. I confused mindless production with daily discipline. In many ways the over scheduling of my installations and exhibitions starting in late 2008 early 2009 and running through 2013 replaced mindless studio tinkering with endless presentation. I changed as an artist and a person as a result of this mostly unplanned life. Before I could get my sea legs artwork took over. My work became more the art of logistics, juggling life, other work, and eventually small commissioned installation work. In between the 25 plus installations and other large works, I managed to move four different times, change from a “dream” backyard studio to running my art life exclusively out of a 10×20 climate controlled storage space. This past year I also made the choice to decline some opportunities that would have required more sacrifice because I was settling into my other role of being a stay at home dad.

When I was in grad school I had the chance to see David Lynch speak at a random book signing at a mall. A friend persuaded me to go with him, and I never really forgot it. I’ve never actually seen a david Lynch film start to finish, save for the twin peaks series I watched in middle school. The things he spoke about really resonated with me. He was promoting a book about the creative process and he talked about his training as a painter and where his ideas come from. He used this great analogy of diving for fishes as a way to catch ideas. It really clicked with me since I keep a visual sketchbook, snap pictures frequently, and keep several computer files of written sketches and word fragments.  I occasionally see all my ideas coalesce together in the ramped up experience that is installaing/creating a show with the audience arriving in a week or less, but more often I am just drowning in my own output. In the past year I was no longer able to triple schedule things, so it meant 2012’s 10 site projects were  followed by 3 sites in 2013, an exhibition in a box and one large sculpture. I never planned for things to work out this way, and for the most part my complete lack of planning and expectations has served me well creatively.

Like a good indie rock band that tours behind a really strong ep or independent release this is what I was doing from 2009 to now. Performing the sculpture. Like that model of creative output  I would like to capture in a new studio the energy and work that touring has created. But like any good working musician I can still find spaces between around and within the established structure of my work. As I map out 2014 and beyond , hoping, submitting to and negotiating for installation gigs, I am planning a quiet return to the studio. I hope to capture some of the noise I heard while on the road. In the meantime though ill be back in trusty 10×20 storage space soon piecing together parts for a series of new installations in 2014.